Number 1
1. One of the strengths of this letter is that it gets to the point quickly. telling why they are writing and the event that caused it.
Some weaknesses include the numbers instead of bullets. Numbers imply hierarchy whereas bullets merely bring attention to the different points without prioritizing. Another weakness is the fact that in the bullets, they sound very passive and not authoritative. They are the buyer. They have the power because they can choose who they would like to buy from.
2 Revision:
Since our college is closing our dining hall, we would like to give students the option of making their food in their rooms. Your ad in Collegiate Magazine caught our eye but before we make a final decision we need the following information:
-The earliest time you will be able to ship the microwaves. We need them shipped by August 15th.
-Types of warranties you offer for your products
-Cost and if you give discounts for mass orders
-If a special outlet is needed in order to plug the microwave into the wall
-if instructions are included
Please write back as soon as you can. We're on a tight schedule and we are looking at several different suppliers.
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